Parenting

Lately, I've been feeling a little frustrated as a parent. I have heard from several people that think the year with a 3 year-old is much harder than with a 2 year-old. I struggle with Leland's defiance. I know that she knows better with some of the things she does or says and I expect more from her, I guess. I don't want to, and I don't think I should, just lower my expectations I have for her.

Now, I'm going to list things that she has done that are very frustrating. These things don't happen constantly, but enough that it is very frustrating. She will tell other kids she doesn't want to play with them in a snotty way, if I tell her I love her she says well I don't love you, she steals toys all the time from other little kids, she seems to have no regard that she does something that hurts Lucy physically, and she doesn't tell the obvious truth.

I want her to be the sweet loving little girl all the time that I know she can be.

Here are some of my questions:

• How do you teach a 3 year old about the difference between the truth and a lie?
• How can I teach her to understand that she is physically hurting others?
• How can I teach her about hurting others feelings?
• What do I do when time outs are obviously not working?

I'm sure most of these things are learned over time, but what should I do as her mother to help her learn those things. When my girls were babies I would read everything I could about how to help them be happier babies. (My favorite was "Happiest Baby on the Block".) I guess recently I haven't read much about parenting a pre-school age child. Are there any parenting books that you love? I recently checked out "Kids are from Heaven". So far I seem to like it. It is written by the same man that wrote "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus"

I read a few talks from the last General Conference that gave me encouragement. My favorite was Daughters of God by M. Russel Ballard. He asks 4 questions and answers them. I am just going to write about 2 of them. You can read the full talk here.

1)What can you do, as a young mother, to reduce the pressure and enjoy your family more?

• recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments
• don't over schedule yourselves or your children
  
• Find time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests
• pray, study, and teach the Gospel

2)What more can a husband do to support his wife, the mother of their children?

• show extra appreciation and give more validation to what your wife does every day
• have a regular time to talk with your wife about each child's needs and what you can do to help
• give your wife a "day away" now and then
• come home from work and take an active role with your family

I am trying to be more involved with Leland and Lucy while they are playing at the house instead of running to the computer to work or check emails once they are occupied for a moment. I am trying to have more one on one time with Leland to just talk and cuddle. I have done this before nap time or bed time. I am trying to point out more positive things that I see Leland do as opposed to point out only the negative behavior.

Any other ideas of what was worked for you? Or even anything you have tried? Sometimes what does not work with one child may work with another.